| If I can say something... |
[06 Jan 2004|07:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
Okay, since it's been awhile...
LADIES... please. Back the fuck up. Stop with guilt trips. LEAVE Justin alone. He is HAPPILY married once again. I have been noticing alot of girls giving him a hard time. You all knew the situation why you even got involved is beyond me.
mar·ried ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mrd)
adj.
Having a spouse: a married woman; a married man.
United in matrimony: a married couple.
Of or relating to the state of marriage: married bliss.
Acquired through marriage: her married name.
Closely connected; united.
Just wanted to put that in there. Yes, yes I am an asshole. I know that no one needs to remind me. I just think that you all need to get off his back and stop constantly calling him a bad friend and or trying to guilt him.
DO you even think about how ALL of your hoochie and nutty behavior is making his wife feel? How pathetic. You are just jealous of P!nk and need to get over it, she isn't leaving and if she does be sure that Justin will follow.
Yeah that was some advice.
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| Oh. MY. god |
[05 Jan 2004|03:47pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
] |
BRITNEY!? DID YOU GET MARRIED?
*dies laughing so hard*
KEVIN we gotta do that! It should be the new trend!
*keeps laughing*
BRITNEY!!!! I love you girl *snickers*
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| yeah.. |
[31 Dec 2003|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
::coughs:: I am sick. Very sick. I hate being sick... someone? Help I'm all sweaty and I don't feel good. I'm sick ::sneezes hard coughing at the same time::
Uh, kill me? Now? Please? I've got money I'll pay you. ::nods then blinks:: shouldn't have done that.. ::sinks down and curls up::
Christmas was great! I just ruined new years eve by being sick though. uuuuuh I hate being sick
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| Sweet dreams til sun beams find you.. |
[12 Dec 2003|06:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
*yawns blinking a little. Rae feeling warm skin against his cheek. Smiles to himself placing a gentle kiss on the chest of the man he's cuddle up again*
Felt like old times. We ate cookies, he played with my hair. Here I thought he ragged on me because he hated me. I thought he was just driving me crazy just to tick me off. He's never been one for giving complete love to walk all over. He gives you his foot in your butt and an "I hate you, you are dead to me" until you get your act together.
*feels him shift and move under his weight only to get pulled closer and told to go to sleep*
I would be lost without P!nk and J. Like always they have their way of pulling me from the deepest darkest corners of my own exsistance. I think finally getting out what I needed to from my past relationship. It mended me. It was fixing the broken part. The no drink, swearing, or smoking is helping to. Its making him proud of me. Something he hasn't been in a long time. I hope we have more nights of watching "Animal cops" and curling up in bed. Hopefully it'll workout this time.
*feels the mans head nuzzle agianst his neck, smiles and curls up more*
Night Kevin.. *kisses his forehead and allows himself to doze off once again*
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| the 3 hours that'll kill ya.. |
[08 Dec 2003|07:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
Being in LA after New York. That always kills me. I remember why I don't like to travel that much. Call me a lazy bum, but I don't care much for the time zone switch ups.
Did you all see, I made P!nk mess up. She was gigglin' it was great! She was nervous and I didn't want her to be. Her zipper fell down too, cracked me up. She's the best.
Justin was at a strip club with us, that was interesting. Sometimes I swear I feel like the kid in the midst of the divorce. I just wish that they would get back together. I miss them being happy. I miss being happy. I think maybe some of my bitter behavior could exude from them? I don't know, I don't try and over analize things too much.
Alright Thats it for me...
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| When I'm not myself.. |
[04 Dec 2003|12:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cranky |
] |
::Paces around the room shakes his head looking at some old pictures he found at his old apartment in New York. Rubs his eyes taking another drink of the beer in his hand:: I use to be happy.. I use to not be bitter. I use to be able to love. Now I can't. Nothing works inside me anymore. I can't even... remember what I did wrong to make him leave me and use me like that... I need closure.
Wade,
I'm writing this letter to seal the coffin. I am a shadow of the man I use to be. I can't love. I can't even find it in me to be nice to the people I "Love". I don't blame this all on you, wait.. I do. It took me a long time to realize that all you did was use me. All you did was steal my heart and take advantage of it. I was the laughing stock of all of our friends because you cheated on me left and right, you were never happy with just me. Why did you even want me around if I wasnt enough? I spend the longest time thinking that I was doing the wrong things, that I was the one who wasn't making you happy. So I gave into your plee's of bringing in someone else.
What did I get from all this? I have no heart anymore. Everything is broken and nothing is right. I had someone who loved me and because I couldn't get over the mistakes that I made by letting you use me as your doormat, I lost him. I'll give it to you that our love was comfortable. Well my love, I don't think that you ever really loved me. You had a kid with someone else, and just used me because I was stupid enough to just sit back and take it. I never got mad at you, I never stood up for myself. I pushed away my friends and locked myself into this fantasy that I was actually in a relationship where I would benefit from. I was completely wrong. I needed to do this to just get it out. To tell you that you were no good for me, you used me you hurt me, you lied and cheated. You took me for granted and I let you. I disgust myself for letting you turn me into the person I was and the angery hateful and spiteful man I am now.
I hope your life is good and I hope that you are happy. With getting this finally out, Maybe I can be happy one day again soon.
Nick
::grabs an envelope. Calls one of P!nk's managers to find out where he is, then has the letter mailed. Walks back into the room and throws away the box of mementos then grabs his beer and goes to lay down and watch tv::
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| Like ohmygah AHHHHHH |
[01 Dec 2003|01:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
::gets out of bed and goes over logging into his computer. Sits back and checks over things, quirks a brow and runs his fingers through his hair::
Hmm, okay. GAG me with a fuckin' Wooden spoon. I'm going to reinterate the whole reason people do not like me. Because I don't really hold my tongue when I should. My foot ends up my mouth more then I'd like.. but HEY whatcha gonna do?
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! You know why people fall in love with Justin? Because the mear fact that Justin is single. AND he is JUSTIN "FUCKING" TIMBERLAKE" Its like the minute that people find out that my boy is having problems Tits/Cocks and baked goods are on his door step faster then you can say "katchagoogoo" ALL with the hope that Justin will automatically stop having feelings for his wife. OOOH thats another whole can of worms but I'll get to that in a minute.
I tell justin he needs to not be so nice, because he is and alright he's a little loose but who isn't ya know? WHY can't it just be sex. BECAUSE I tell ya, I know when when justin has had sex... because the girls and or guys around these parts get all GIGGLY and shit. Chances are he's just searching for intimacy. NOT someone to fall in love with, but girls get that shit all mixed up. OOOH JUSTIN MUST BE FALLING FOR ME BECAUSE HE SLEPT WITH ME... Uh, yeah move it on down the line. Justin isn't in love with anyone but his wife... SPEAKING of that..
YOU PEOPLE DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW HER AND YOUR BAD MOUTHING HER???? Fuck you.. fuck you.. and fuck you too! This woman is one of the most amazing caring women you'll ever meet and because she "hurt" your poor love toy INSTANTLY She's a bitch and walked all over Justin and hurt him? FUCK that. They both had their screw ups. They BOTH Fucked up. They both know it, you've only just heard Justin's side. THERE are 3 sides to every story, detact your lips from Justin's ass and leave the hopes that you'll be Mrs. Timberlake for like TWO seconds and get to know P!nk. don't just act like you're all high and mighty and think she's a bitch.
GAH, I fuckin' hate that I have to be the asshole once again but someones gotta take the job
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| One bad apple... |
[25 Nov 2003|02:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
So I don't like to wake up.
I didn't want to wake up...
See Its been a long time since I have had sex. Sex sex sex.. mostly cause I haven't had the need for it. But last night I had such a vidid dream that I didn't want to wake up from.
See for the most part, Well for most of my life I have always tried to act or put on a mask to hide the fact that I am gay. Well in this dream I had sex with a woman. I couldn't see who it was but it was incredible.
Fuck I just hate waking up.. I am not going to anymore, I'm just staying in my house
*closes the curtains and goes back to bed*
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| You had every reason... |
[29 Oct 2003|05:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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uncomfortable |
] |
-rubs his head, sitting at his drums. Makes a face at the empty house, shrugs a little bit playing with the song that he's had on repeat-
I guess I thought you'd be here forever
Another illusion I chose to create
You don't know what ya got until it's gone
And I found out just a little too late
I was acting as if you were lucky to have me
Doin' you a favor, I hardly knew you were there
But then you were gone and it all was wrong
Had no idea how much I cared
Chorus:
Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don't want to
Living without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to ya babe
You're a hard habit to break
You found someone else you had every reason
You know I can't blame you for runnin' to him
Two people together but living alone
I was spreading my love too thin
After all of these years
I'm still tryin' to shake it
Doin' much better, they say that it just takes time
But deep in the night it's an endless flight
I can't get ya out of my mind
Chorus
2nd Chorus:
Being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
I don't want to
Being without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting any easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to you
You're a hard habit to break
-sighs, gets up grabs his beer then goes to Look for Justin-
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| Uuuuh |
[28 Oct 2003|08:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cranky |
] |
-looks around and thumps back down on the bed, looks under the blankets seeing he's still got his clothes on- Damn didn't get any last night.. Long night..
I did listen to Justin talk alot... damn! Thats all I gotta say.. DAMN
Wait no... not all. I miss P!nk a lot. She's like the best woman on the planet. She is the peanut butter between the bread, and no one can even come close to that. DAMN!
-curls up and kicks off his shoes- I just wanna move to Vegas..
DAMN!!
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| MISSION POSSIBLE |
[28 Oct 2003|01:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
-looks around and debates putting on war paint, but nixes the idea-
We're here in Las Vegas. The RMA's are okay, but J-dawg and I are on a mission. -starts to hum the theme song- we're lookin' for someone. We need to kidnap the person in question and bring her back to my hotel room. Bound and gag.. WHOA alright... WRONG plan.
JUSTIN!?!?!?!? damn where is the fool?
I think we'll go without the war pant and throw on some classy duds and go seek some hot chicks or dudes. Which ever comes my way. I got my glasses so I'm lookin' HOT! Yes I AM conceeded. I am also very proud of my boy for winning tonight. What a night.. anyways
VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!
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[24 Oct 2003|02:22pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
( VM for Kevin )
Well, lets see what'll come of that. I will own up to the fact that I only like 3 people in this whole world. -taps chin- Things have certainly changed around here. Alot of sissy pansy asses who use words like "You're ugly, OH fatty" -laughs- someone needs to buy a mass amount of mirrors and start handin' them out, cause straight up honestly they need to catch a glimps of themselves. I think maybe.. YES I'll make a list then make up baskets to send out to the emo whiney bitches who think using words like "Fatty or ugly" are gonna make someone cry.
Alright so lets see here...
Shampoo Oh yeah alot of them need that
breath mints
Anti-biotic cream cause some of those piercing look infected
Mirrors
Deodorant
Toothbrushes
PROZAC
PAXIL
ZOLOFT
Chicken Soup for the bitch asses soul
Damn I'm going to have to go to Costco or Sams Club. They sell all this in bulk. MY my it feels good to be a good neighbor. -laughs-
What just cracks me up is that they think I don't know that HELLO I am pleasantly plump. I am not the most attractive man in the world. I have little to no talent. I am famous JUST for being famous. If they call me a fag.. well HELLO duh. I speak the language fluently. I'm annoying. Yeah I've been told that. Its better to know ones self.
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| Greetings from Tusla |
[15 Sep 2003|01:54pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
] |
Alright maybe not Tulsa. I'm in Washington State. I've decided to take all this time and do soul serching. My updates won't be long because I end up getting into Bitter rants. But it's just gorgeous out here, amazing. The moutains/Volcanos are just breath taking. Maybe I'll find my center. I hope so....
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| Lets move it along... |
[25 Aug 2003|08:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
::looks over at Kevin asleep, leans over kisses his lips. Then lays down listening to his heart beating. Lays there for the longest time knowing that everything going on is hurting Kev just as much as its hurting him. Slides out of bed goes to the closet and grabs his wet suit and a gym back with a change of clothes. Grabs some paper and leaves a note::
Kev,
I went for a surf, I couldn't sleep again. I'll be back by lunch we should think about that vacation we were talking about...I think some time in Kentucky would be good for us.
Love you,
Nicky
No matter what the ( Wheel ) keeps going..
::walks out grabs his surf board and heads down to the ocean::
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| sorry... |
[23 Aug 2003|10:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
-bitter laugh, frowns and sinks down shuddering- LETS See where to start?
My mom left my dad, she's being dramatic and called the police on him, she's holding Aaron like.. captive it seems like. We don't get to see him, she's fuckin' this new guy that she hired to help manage him. -sighs- GOD I hate that woman, I hate my family, can I have a new one please? Justin had a good up bringing, why couldn't I have one like that? I KNOW why because his mom isn't psycho!!! -frowns-
Sometimes I wish that things were back to how they were when BSB was big and important. I keep thinking that IF and huge IF we didn't give up that Disney thing we'd be on top like Nsync still could be.... -shrugs- guess you just take the cards you're delt right? I just wish it would all go away and be normal and sane again...
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| er... |
[07 Aug 2003|05:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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awake |
] |
Yeah, I have this idea in my head. Its this idea of getting my cronies back together. Me, Justin, P!nk, and Joey. We need to all raise a little hell. I know I didn't meantion kevin in there but he'd not old school. I love him but yeah...
I do really gotta go see Justin on the road, he doesn't seem like he has been having such a great time on tour. I heard about that sars thing. Damn that is fucked him...
I haven't seen Joey in a long time, I think maybe I should go and pay him a little visit before headin' out to see Juppers! *laughs hard* Ha I haven't called him that in a really long time.
Alright I better get my ass in gear. I have to *Cringes* grocery shop..
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| Postcards from the edge... |
[25 Jul 2003|08:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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relaxed |
] |
Kevin and I are at the island together. We're working things out. I was suppose to go see Justin in Chicago, seems as if we never get together anymore....
::lays back in the lounge chair looking out at the ocean:: its funny cause I remember a time when he, P!nk and I were all attached at the hip. Well them and I would thrust myself into the bed. Think I'm whiney and a pain now? Imagine me a little more back then with my strings of ex wives! ::shudders::
Well I'm not making the mistake of getting married again, well I might I might get married but this time it won't be a mistake. I think things are going to be okay from now on....
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| Man I Fuckin' hate Nsync *snickers* |
[20 Jul 2003|09:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lazy |
] |
KIDDING... I just never get invited to all the fun. I think Justin doesn't love me anymore *laughs* Well its okay I have to do some more recording and sit around and scratch my balls... kidding! OR maybe I'm not *grins*
*grabs the phone and dials up Britney hums waiting for the beeps* YOU didn't return my calls, don't make me get all stalker like and sit outside you house *laughs* give me a call, we'll hang out. We'll do something very...uh fun? I don't know, you said that I said that if you called I'd show you a good time, uh so I guess I'll show you a good time? *chuckles* Talk to you soon Brit.. *hangs up*
Now I shall retreat back into my studio.
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| So, about the fat thing... |
[13 Jul 2003|02:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bitchy |
] |
People in glass houses seem to be throwing some fuckin' huge ass bolders.
Fatty Mcugly or some shit like that...-dies laughing in hystarics then rolls his eyes- Sorry no, that doesn't fly. Joey is probably one of the oldest friends I have. I remember when he and dan got together, that was a match made in heaven. But ya know? Since some people are into picking on miniscule shit, I'm ALL for it! Cause I'm just low like that. Fuck with my friends... I'm just careless and childish enough to come right back atcha!!!
Lets steps back and take a gooooooood long look at ourselves? Hey I love rock as much as anyone, taking a throw back to hairbands aren't we? Minus washing it aren't we? Uh, lets see -rubs his chin- hmmm I really think someone needs to go look in a mirror when talking about being uh..FAT and Limp? cause uh, last time I checked zipper mouth looked like it mighta been a year or two since he last saw his own cock!! OH that was good!The whole make up and shit too... hmm -grimaces- I thought that Twisted sister went down in the 80's guys, come on.. get with the times.
So see, I got shit to say too!! If you don't know who I'm talking about? think REAL hard.. I'm sure it'll come to you!
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[08 Jul 2003|02:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
Well, lets see...
Good points of this past weekend? Kev and I got to spend time together, got to talk to AJ and Sweet D, we're all doing our own CD's...DRUM ROLL PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? I am working with none other then the Crue's TOMMY LEE...
Hell yes I am excited. Brit called, must admit thats a definately interesting thing, I haven't talked to her in a long ass time. If anyone remembers, I did a lil prank call on the lil sweetheart...-laughs and sighs- it was cause I had a straight crush on her. Funny as it sounds, its true. Scared of women gay me was into little miss spears. MOVING on!!!
I need to go out and see J, I haven't gone out to a show yet, maybe he'll take some time off and we can catch up with some tater shottin' and shit!!
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